Divorce

First of all this is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings. I hope that by me writing this and sharing my thoughts and feelings it might help someone. 

Divorce sucks! There is not another way of saying it. Losing my mom was hard, but my marriage ending was 100 times harder.  Dale and I were married for 22 years.  He was my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my everything. When my marriage ended all of that went away. I am lost. It's getting better everyday, but it's hard. It's really hard when you see family and friends happily married. That's when I have a pity party. That's when the what ifs come into play. 

Another reason why divorce is so hard is because in some ways I feel like I have lost my family. I'm talking about Dales family. Where do I fit in? Do I? When there is a reunion do I go? No I can't because Dale and Axinia will be there, but I've been a part of the family for 22 years. It's tough. I'm glad I'm moving the weekend of the reunion. My mind will be on that. Divorce sucks!

Divorce is hardest on the children. They are torn apart. If I live with mom then dad is sad, when I go to visit dad then mom is sad. Never talk smack about their dad.  He is their dad. He loves them. He may not love me anymore but he does love them. 

There are 5 reasons why I would do 22 years of marriage again even with the same outcome; Nicole, Ryan, Tyler, Max and Justin.