I have survived! I really didn't know if I would but I did! A year ago is when my world collapsed. I still remember the sinking feeling I felt in my stomach when I read the letters and saw the photos of them. NO! This is not happening to me, this is not happening to my family! We will not be one of the statistics!!! I remember falling to my knees and crying out WHY? I prayed and cried for a long time. What did I do wrong? I couldn't bring myself to call him that night. I thought about driving to Calgary and confronting him, but why? I had read the letters and saw the photos. He had made his choice and it wasn't me. In my mind I was no longer pretty enough, skinny enough, or sexually enough. Thats how I felt that night and for a while after, but not anymore.
This past year has taught me that it didn't have anything to do with me. It had to do with Satan. He wants families to fall apart, he wants individuals to second guess their worthiness. He will try anything and everything to break us. "Satan is working overtime to attack the family. He tells us that marriage is not important, that children do not need a father and a mother, and that strong families are not important. He tells us that moral values are old-fashioned and silly. When challenges come, Satan tells us to abandon our beliefs and go with the ways of the world. He entices us with fame and fortune and tells us where to find the easy life. He attacks our faith in God and tries to discourage even the strongest and most loving families. Satan is delighted when we give in-even just a little" (Barbara Thompson General Conference 2007). What can we do to strengthen our families and ourselves? We've been told over and over. We need to have family and individual prayers, have fhe, reading our scriptures, attend our meetings, attend the temple, pay our tithing. When we aren't doing our part, when we let things slide, Satan starts working his way in little by little. We do have our free agency. We get to decide to right from wrong. When we choose Satans path our families lose, we as individuals lose. Divorce happens and addictions occur. We need to protect our families and ourselves. We need to hold to the iron rod and not let go no matter what. We need to listen to our Church Leaders. I have grabbed a hold of the iron rod, sometimes my hands start slipping, but I hold even tighter, why? Because my family is worth it and I am worth it.
